My name is Mary, I love animals, and being sarcastic. Sometimes I post things that are NSFW. If you get offended, that's your problem. I'm always nice unless others are rude first. :)
I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do
why are blonde jokes so short?
so men can remember them
this took an unexpected turn
Not if you just asked for directions.
(Source: sendificator)
BOOM roasted
Spot on Daily Show, spot on.
I fucking laughed so hard when I saw this
(Source: drunkonstephen)
(Source: awidesetvagina)
i made a makeup tutorial for all my fellow feminists out there bye
(Source: chibigordonramsay)
- Now: horny.
- In an hour: horny.
- Tomorrow: horny.
- Next week: horny.
- Next month: horny.
- Sleeping: horny.
- Eating: horny.
- Having sex: horny.
- Apocalypse: horny.
- Dead: horny.
Game of Thrones - Season 3
I started re-watching GoT from the first episode because I’m so bummed that it wont be back until next year:(
(Source: aryastarks)
My friend who has baby pigs calls them snufflepups and I wish that was what everyone called them.
(Source: americandesert)
the next boy who lets me ride his dick is gonna get choked with no warning.
Not Smart.
You think you’re getting cute and kinky, he flashes back to when Poppa just to be a violent drunk.
45 minutes later, everybody going to the Jail/hospital and nobodys gotten a nut.
Real shit though.
ALWAYS talk about shit like this before having sex with someone.
I dunno… I still think little kids are evil and dangerous no matter how you raise them. Frankly, they scare me and I’m not opposed to banning children across the world outright. Maybe we should just stick to cats and dogs after all, they’re much safer, more loyal, less expensive and just all around better.
